I am not exactly sure why I started this blog. It just felt like the right thing to do.

Anyways, the recent tremors have left more jarred than usual. There is nothing original about the California Earthquake, or wildfires. But this recent sequence of shakers have been far more violent. I could here the earthquake approaching. I hate to use cliques but it rumbled in the same way a wave comes crashing down. It had that same guttural low frequency rumble that kicks you in the chest. Before the house began to rock back and forth I could hear the birds shrieking madly. They flapped their wings in their cage. Even their small brains could comprehend this quake was going to be a bitch. I have never heard an earthquake coming, but somehow I just knew what it was I was hearing. As the quake reached my house the windows shook, the house rocked, and my brain just switched through all the static noise that related to what was happening.

Should I go to the doorway?

No, only dumbasses do that and end up losing fingers as the door slams shut.

Should I go outside?

No, I’ll probably be whacked by the bricks on the outside of the house.

Should I sit here?

Really brain? thats it?

The couch seemed like the best place to sit this quake out. And so I sat. The house stopped shaking. The light was still on, and so I put on the news. Breaking NEWS, did you feel that? That was an earthquake. Realizing the stupidity of it all i couldn’t bare changing it right away. And ultimately why the fuck do they have regular people describing it to me? it was the same earthquake. Unless somehow they got a different type of wave, they felt the same thing. After they stopped giving any relevant info , like the magnitude (which was the only relevant info they had) i changed it. But really? Do we really have to hear how someone’s china fell to the floor? How some retard didn’t earthquake proof his bookshelf. Really? I guess we have become so desensitized that we want to hear someone else say the same thing. This was straight out of Dellilo’s book White Noise.

I can’t wait for the big one. I don’t have an earthquake kit ready, and I bet you don’t either. It will rip our homes a new asshole. I have never been paranoid about earthquakes before but lately I’ve been a little on the edge. There is nothing we can do to stop it. I hope you keep your ass nice and clean California, because we’re gonna be kissing it goodbye real soon.

se habla ingles,

The illiterate Mexican


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